she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
