how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
