i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
