ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
