she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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