so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
