What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
