I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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