Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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