I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
