My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
