I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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