but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
