i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
