Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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