He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You can't just leave with hair like that
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
