So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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