I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize