PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
