so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
