Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How external is "for external use only"?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
