I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
