Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
