wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
