It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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