Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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