i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
