I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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