id be glad to
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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