his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The best revenge is premature balding
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
