He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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