I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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