did you get engaged???
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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