is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
