"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
