I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
