I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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