Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
