"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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