she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
