She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
