It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
