He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
