I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
