Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
