i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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