We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
