now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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