I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
