It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
