It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
