she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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